You're Gay?! Nah....

My first day in California I walked onto my Grad school's campus and saw two gay men walking in public holding hands. Coming from the midwest I knew I was home. For seven years I never hid who I was. In fact, from the moment I came out, I didn't hide or deny the fact that I was a lesbian, I just was a bit more careful. However in the bay area, there wasn't that need to be careful - hell I was living right across the bay from San Francisco! So sometimes I think Virginia wasn't quite ready for me...and I wasn't quite ready for it.

So how does one very out little lesbian figure out the right time to come out at work, friends, etc? I know many people are quite comfortable with keeping the fact that they are gay private from some people, but sometimes I don't understand it if it won't mean your job (such as military). Every day I have to hear about who such and such had a date with, who they think is cute, their baby daddies and the fact that I can't contribute about who I had a date with, who I broke up with, who I think is cute, I find quite annoying and constricting. Being a lesbian may be one part of me, but it is an important part of me and I won't shut it out. So? What do I do? Well I stamp my damn car with pride stickers!! I think that's a good ice-breaker ;)

So I pose myself with the question over and over again...am I just too gay?!

It Is What It Is

Ah, the lesbian break up. I have been through some really bad ones and thankfully one okay one. However I have reached the point where it's getting on my nerves. Women are too damn complicated and downright annoying. Why can't we just be in the moment and enjoy ourselves instead of processing every goddamn moment and analyze it? I am surrounded by wonderful loving couples that are in these fabulous relationships and dare I try to find one myself? No such luck....well yet. Dare am I hopeful? However all these experiences do teach life lessons - what we do what and don't want out of a relationship (yeah my list continues to grow....). I try to grow as a person and look beyond the pretty face....yeah someday I'll look beyond the pretty face :) In the meantime, I'm sure I will continue to keep getting a piece of my heart crushed and then move on..."it is what it is"